Willie Waffle Movies

Evil Dead – Evil Enters Thru The Vajayjay – Review

evildeadFILMDISTRICT

Courtesy Film District

The original Evil Dead became a cult classic that launched the careers of filmmaker Sam Raimi and star Bruce Campbell, but this remake has none of the originality.  Hollywood doesn’t believe it, but, sometimes, you need to leave well enough alone.

Jane Levy stars as Mia and her friends and family have taken her to a remote, isolated, cabin in the darkest, foggiest, murkiest woods you have ever seen in your life to help her kick a drug habit cold turkey.

Olivia (Jessica Lucas) is a nurse who thinks she can provide the same medical treatment Mia would get in a hospital.

David (Shiloh Fernandez) is Mia’s brother who hasn’t been around much the last few years.

Natalie (Elizabeth Blackmore) is David’s girlfriend who is only in the movie because she looks good in those short shorts

Meanwhile, Eric (Lou Taylor Perci), the hipster doofus, finds a mysterious book that you should never open (there’s even a big warning that says not to read it), but he does, which unleashes an evil demon who wants to kill them all.

Who will live and who will die?

I have never had a fascination for gore, so Evil Dead doesn’t hold any great interest for me in the first place, but the creative team doesn’t try to go beyond the gore to do anything more interesting.

Director and writer Fede Alvarez, along with some help from the infamous Cody Diablo and another co-writer, Rodo Sayagues, fills Evil Dead with plenty of campy moments, but never really sets the tone properly.

Instead of being campy, it’s crappy.

The dialogue is atrocious.

The acting, outside of Levy, isn’t much better, and I think they really lost me when evil enters our heroine through her vajayjay (you can’t unsee that).

However, Alvarez is all about trying to make it as gross and nasty as possible, so the squeamish should stay away and the rest of you who dare to buy a ticket should be careful what kind of candy and popcorn you put in your tummy before watching all of the grotesque action.

Sadly, it’s grotesque action for no purpose as Evil Dead gets worse and worse as we get closer to the end.

1waffles_sml

1 Waffle (Out of 4)

Evil Dead is rated R for strong bloody violence and gore, some sexual content and language.

VIEW & ADD COMMENTS

35 Comments to “Evil Dead – Evil Enters Thru The Vajayjay – Review”

    lolusuckatcritiques said:
    April 5, 2013 at 9:36 PM

    you're clearly a faggot

      Mary said:
      April 10, 2013 at 1:02 PM

      It's 2013 ass wipe, think you can extend your vocab beyond hate speech? You like words like 'nigger' too? Or, do you not say that word because you know you'll get leveled. I hope a 'faggot' clocks you someday.

      Rizwan said:
      April 14, 2013 at 7:47 AM

      You are a loser…

    dumbshit said:
    April 6, 2013 at 12:17 AM

    cody diablo? you fucking idiot

      Rizwan said:
      April 14, 2013 at 7:48 AM

      Yes dumb fucking moronic bitch its Diablo cody

    Wors said:
    April 6, 2013 at 1:29 AM

    You are the kind of person who thinks using the word " vajayjay" is clever. Clearly you are an idiot. Also, Diablo Cody is hardly "infamous". It takes a special kind of hack, misogynist, douche-bag to passive aggressively shame a person for a past they have been completely open about.

      Rizwan said:
      April 14, 2013 at 7:49 AM

      Diablo cody is a whore..She is a bitch…Shut up you ugly moronic asshole..

    Cderk said:
    April 6, 2013 at 2:22 AM

    The most embarrassing part of the review is that he implies, in the first paragraph, that he has seen the original films… But then betrays the fact that he clearly hasn't when he fails to recognize one of the series' most iconic scenes, the tree rape. This is pathetic.

      Goblin said:
      April 6, 2013 at 12:03 PM

      I completely agree!
      that is how the evil entered Cheryl in the first place… in the first movie…

      The guy lost all credit to himself, if there was any with him at all

    diegoH said:
    April 6, 2013 at 9:11 AM

    bad review

      Rizwan said:
      April 14, 2013 at 7:50 AM

      Best review

    DevinSullivan said:
    April 6, 2013 at 2:31 PM

    "Vajayjay?" My lord man, have some self-respect you virgin.

      Rizwan said:
      April 14, 2013 at 7:51 AM

      Yes bitch its Vajayjay…

    ehartsoe said:
    April 7, 2013 at 4:02 AM

    god this review is a hack piece of shit

    skog said:
    April 7, 2013 at 7:34 AM

    "I have never had a fascination for gore, so Evil Dead doesn’t hold any great interest for me in the first place…"

    Then, fuck off, review something else.

    You just posted your feeble ode to Roger Ebert. Here you prove you don't understand shit about Ebert's true worth as a credit. #1: He didn't give a shit about genre as long as the film accomplished meeting or exceeding the limits of the genre. #2 He could write a coherent sentence, Ebert would have NEVER used the term "vajayjay". Harry Knowles would not use the term "vajayjay". You aren't a critic. Just a aimless cunt with a computer.

    Harry said:
    April 7, 2013 at 12:37 PM

    First rule of writing, write what you know. Mr. Waffle clearly knows nothing of the evil dead or vijay jays, so steer clear my friend,

    Brendan said:
    April 7, 2013 at 12:46 PM

    Her vajayjay? Really? The tree scene was "Original" it bascially presented the same story with a twist. I would continue to go into detail…but the comments above will just be a repeat of what i am about to say. I'll spare you the trouble.

    grimdreaper said:
    April 7, 2013 at 1:55 PM

    Sorry, Willie… you lost me at "I have never had a fascination for gore." How could you set the tone for a Cabin in the Woods horror film film any better? I would love to read it.

    simmans said:
    April 7, 2013 at 7:30 PM

    Twit. Jezus Christ. Twit!

    steve said:
    April 8, 2013 at 9:06 AM

    The original Evil Dead also had a vine that played with a woman's "Vajayjay" …obviously this "critic" doesn't know what he is writing about. More of a blurb than a review. And a very quick and waste of time blurb at that.

    THE DACH said:
    April 8, 2013 at 11:18 AM

    What a bunch of losers commenting on here! "WAH! Mean ol' Willie Waffle didn't like this movie that I like so I'm going to personally attack him!" Grow the hell up!

      Red said:
      April 10, 2013 at 12:58 PM

      Suck a dick. Nobody cares about your opinion. Anyone who puts 'The' in front of their name is a fuckin bro douche.

        THE DACH said:
        April 10, 2013 at 5:10 PM

        You sound really intelligent.

    SantaDog said:
    April 8, 2013 at 4:47 PM

    Since you can’t see which orifice the evil enters, I just flipped a coin. That was the most entertainment I had gotten from this movie.

    skog said:
    April 9, 2013 at 3:26 AM

    DACH, I don't think anybody cares about whether Willie liked the film or not. This is a bullshit review written by a hack writer. Welcome to the pros and cons of being featured on Rotten Tomatoes. If he has the right to spit on the efforts of the cast and crew of this film because he doesn't like the genre, we have the right to spit on his silly and lazy review, Come on! This man rates films with waffles. This man refers to parts of the female anatomy like a timid child. He isn't a critic. He is undifferentiated content–the cheap spackle that websites use to remain active and radio station use to fill time. DACH, if you want, I'll print him up a participation award in MS Publisher

    Jackson said:
    April 9, 2013 at 4:23 AM

    This is the worst review I've ever read. Period

    Jen said:
    April 10, 2013 at 12:56 PM

    At the risk of repeating what's already been said, you have no knowledge of what you speak. It's diablo cody not Cody diablo. And you need to look up the word infamous because it doesn't apply to her. Also, what kind of moron doesn't know that one of the most iconic images of the original evil dead is a tree rape in the 'vajayjay', as you expertly called it. I don't understand what is with all the 'faggot' comments by people on here though, 2013 and people still haven't matured much.

    keeferk said:
    April 10, 2013 at 4:00 PM

    Ae you positive you saw the original because ” evil enters her throught the vajayjay” in that version as well. She is raped by a tree its pretty hard t o miss.

    Missdotell.com said:
    April 13, 2013 at 7:05 PM

    what an idiot in the original 1981 version she was "entered through her va jay jay" as well i mean the original director was one of the producers and you thought you weren't gonna get the same kinda weirdness… this movie is a much better try than the wack ass "horror films" like scream and the 500th remake of texas chainsaw which is derived from the story of ed gein and brutally butchered into hollywood non sense.

    missdotell.com said:
    April 13, 2013 at 7:06 PM

    what an idiot in the original 1981 version she was "entered through her va jay jay" as well i mean the original director was one of the producers and you thought you weren't gonna get the same kinda weirdness… this movie is a much better try than the wack ass "horror films" like scream and the 500th remake of texas chainsaw which is derived from the story of ed gein and brutally butchered into hollywood non sense.

    JohnnyCage said:
    April 14, 2013 at 4:58 AM

    There are far too many problems with this review to point out, thankfully, the above comments did most of that work for me. Cody Diablo? C'mon man, I was writing more coherent reviews than this when I was ten. It's also very obvious you know nothing about the original films, as you criticize the movie for the "tree rape" scene, yet apparently forget that as the most infamous scene from the originals. I sure hope you're not getting paid for writing these…

    Free Willie said:
    April 15, 2013 at 1:40 AM

    Well, since this film has been #1 two weeks in a row I guess we can anticipate Willies 2014 review for Evil Dead 2: "Evil enters through the a-nay-nay."

    (or, possibly the "U-Re-Ray"!)

    cheap nike run shoes said:
    June 8, 2013 at 8:24 PM

    gold appliance owning a footed base. It costs

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Advertisement

Advertisement